Attributes of A Righteous Wife – Shaykh Anas Waters
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in[A Man Must Spend on His Family]
Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said,
Hind, the daughter of Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, went to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said,
O’ Messenger of Allah, I say with certainty that Abu Sufyaan is miserly. He does not give me enough money to spend on myself and my children — except if I take it without him knowing. Is it sinful for me to do that? The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) replied:
Take from his money a reasonable amount that will be enough for you and your children.
[Collected by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]
Benefits:
1. It is obligatory for a man to spend on the wife and children. This is the sole responsibility of the father. No one else shares in this responsibility, not the mother, nor any other relative.
2. The amount that must be spent is based on the husband’s condition: whether he is rich, poor, or working-class.
3. A reasonable amount of wealth must be spent. Reasonable is determined by cultural norms. Norms vary from time to time, place to place, and person to person.
4. If spending is obligatory; yet, a man does not spend out of miserliness, the wealth can be taken – even if he does not know, because taking care of those whom is responsible for is obligatory.
5. People who are in charge of affairs, their estimates of things are accepted, because they are entrusted, thus precedence is given to their statement.
6. This type of complaint and similar examples are not considered blameworthy backbiting. This is because she took her affair to the one in charge, who was able to bring about justice and remove oppression.
7. It is permissible for a woman to speak to an unrelated man, if needed, if there is no fitnah.
See “Explanation of Buloogh al-Maraam”, Sh.al-Bassaam.
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