Masjid Rahma Conference
Talk #2-Disobedience to parents
Speaker: Umar Quinn
Points of benefit:
🔸Uquq ul-waliydayn =Disobedience to the Parents ⬇
This is a MAJOR sin.
🔸Uquq (disobedience) in this context is anything that comes from you that will hurt, harm and annoy your parents from speech or actions then this is disobedience.
Ibn Umar has said that the disobedience to the parents is from the major sins. And this is transmitted from the prophet Muhammad sal-Allahu alayhi was-Salaam.
He sal-Allahu alayhi was-Salaam said “Should I not inform you of the greatest of sins. We said ‘Of course’. The first is commiting shirk with Allaah. The second to be disobedient to the parents…
Narrator of th hadeeth says-And he was lying down when he said the first two. And then stood at the third.
…And to give false testimonies and bare witness to something one did not witness. And he repeated this until the narrator said that he thought he would not stop.” Saheeh al Bukharee
◾NO sin is minor to Allaah azza wa jal.
🔸Ouf- is a sound or word to show that your are displeased. Is or should not ever be done to the parents.
◾It is sad that some of the kuffar (disbelievers) know this better than the muslims. And as a muslim and better yet a salafi we should know better.
◾And we do this obedience through knowledge and not ignorance or from culture.
◾And this hadeeth may be spoken about all night, but it is about being able to apply this outside of this sitting tonight through your interactions with your parents.
❎If your parents command you to disobey Allaah then you do not obey them. ” Because there is no obedience to the creation in the disobedience of the creator”.
✔Therefore you are obedient in the situations in which there is no islamic ruiling that has shown something is not permissable.
✔If you are able to fulfill the obligation of something else after completing the obligation of your mother then you should do so.
But in the case of salah and it is leaving and you could fulfill this obligation before the salah (prayer) leaves them you fulfill that obligation.
A man came to the messeger sal-Allahu alayhi was-Salaam and asking permission to make jihad . And the prophet sal-Allahu alayhi was-Salaam asked him if his parents are alive. So then the man said yes they are alive. So the prophet said do jihad in their cause. (Meaning to aid the parents.)
◾This shows the position that Islam has against the youth that are running to do jihad and leaving off the obligation of the parents, and these actions have no basis in Islam.
◾The mother is given presidence over the father.
As in a hadeeth were the prophet sal-Allaahu alayhi was-Salaam said “your mother, your mother, your mother, then your father.”
Of Mu’awiyyah bin Jahima were he asked the prophet sal-Allaahu alayhi was-Salaam to go for jihad. And he asked if his mother was a alive. He said yes. So the he sal-Allaahu alayhi was-Salaam said
“Then hold onto her as paradise is at the feet of your mother.”
So there is a great position for your mother and paradise is through your parents and they are your door to jannah. So go out of your way to be good to them. And one should never look down at his parents.
“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”
Surah al-Israa (The Night Journey) 17:24
Hasan al-Basri said:
Good manners- is to be patient upon the harms of an individual.
It is not upon you to be disobedient to ones parents because of one act of hardship and or one thing they say that you dont like
The patience is at the first reaction. And the first reaction is the test of your patience, not after you have spent time complaining.
Sabr (patience) is of three types
1. In Obedience
2. In staying away from sins.
3. And with the Qadr (decree) of Allah.
❓❓❓How can you disobey your parents when you cannot even fulfill even their rights? (Paying them back for raising you.)
↪4 types of individuals will not enter paradise:
1. One who is disobedient to thr parents
2. One who boasts about giving to people. And harms that person by showing them or reminding them of what he has done for him.
3. One who is addicted to intoxicants.
4. One who is a believer in magic.
The companions used to learn knowledge with action. So may Allaah make of those who apply it aameen.
Talk-Gender Confusion & Role Reversal: Men Imitating Women and visa versa
Speaker: Umar Quinn
Points of benefits:
27th and 28th kaabair of the major sins is related to the family and roles of the men and women in the society.
🔸Kaabair -major sins (what ever goes against the fundamentals of the religion).
Imam adh-Dhahabi says:
🔸Kawad is a pimp- is one who alows adultry to happen among the women who arw under him.
🔸Dayuth- is one who has no jelousness and protection ovee hia women folk.
◾There is not a zani (fornicator) who is alive that does not want everyone else to be a zani.
Related by Abdullaah ibni Umar that the prophet sal-Allaahu alayhi was-Salaam said: “There are three people that will not enter the paradise (before being punishment). One is a man who is disobedient to his parents. The second is a man who is a dayuth (has no jelousness and protectiveness over his family) and the third is a women who acts like a man.”
The person who does not have 🔸gheera (protectivness – to not want things to have a change for the worse) then he has fallen into abominable behaviours and has humiliated him self.
◾ What ever Allaah has given great status to in the deen then these are from the fundamentals belief actions and moralities.
And so what ever is in opposition to the fundamentals are the kabaair(major sins). And what is less than that will be of the minor sins.
◾The western society has tewlve points that they use to describe and define the moderate/modern muslim. And at least half of them focus on modernizing the muslim women removing the muslim women from her confinement in her home, and bringing her to the universities, the market places and the working places.
◾Our scholars have said that this is the most ➡feared ⬅things for the muslims in the west; is that we loose our women folk and our children to these ideologies.
◾These people have a belittlement to those who are holding fast to the sunnah and call them fundamentalist. And the ones who are falling into the major sins they are described as women who are moderate and modern.
Ibn al-Qayyim said:
“From the ill consequences/punishments of actions of sins is that it extinguishes the fire of protectivness in the heart that contributes to the light of the heart like the natural heat that is in the life of the body. If the gheera of the heart is lost then the heart will die…
◾We know what happens when the body looses heat then he becomes cold to the touch. And tha th person is either dead or close to death.
…So this gheera/heat that they have purifies the heart from despicable things. Just as the black smith removes impurities from gold, silver and iron when it is heated. The most honourable and loftiest people in aspiration are those who have th most gheera;(protectivness) towards their own selves and those that are closest to them…
◾We know the prophet sal-Allaahu alayhi was-Salaamu was the most protective towards his whole ummah (nation).
…And so what is apparent of the one who is covered in sins is that he will remove from his hearts his protectivness over what is precious to him, his family and community. And this can become very weak in the heart to the point that everything of filthy behaviour become de-sensitized and nothing of his behaviour or someone else does not seem hideous. And when he reaches that level then he enters a way of destruction and ruin. And many of them do not limit themselves to that which is seen to be of horror and that which is disgusting and horrible behavious. Rather you find them justifying such lude behaviour for themselves and for others , and adorning it for them, ans inviting them to it ; and encouraging them in this type of behaviour. And for this reason this person who o is a dayuth is the most disgusting of Allaahs creation. And the paradise is forbidden for him… And the person who does not have this protective jelousy has NO religion.”
↪This has never been more EVIDENT in this time of Facebook and Twitter.
◾You have now parents that don’t fight against these horrible things. Instead they provide for their children contraceptives in order for their daughters not to become pregnant.
He sal-Allaahu alayhi was-Salaam got out of his bed and woke his women folk…He said a on this night a hole has been made in the wall of yajuj and majuj. They said oh messenger of Allaah will we be destroyed while the righteous are amongnst us? He said yes when filth become rampant amongst us.”
◾When will the parents stop setting their children up for failure. And put them in environments and forget that they have needs just like they have a need for food and drinks. And they have a need to be married and have intimacy when they reach a certain age.
◾They set them up for failure by putting them into the schools and universities and the workplace; without considering these things regarding their female folk.
◾The person who does not use their body for good is like a person walking upon the earth like a zombie.
Shaykh Rabee ibn Hadee said in his defence of the messenger. For the ones who had drawn pictures of the prophet.
He says in refutation of the westerners: ” As for you oh westerners who claim that you are civilized. We say the following – that you have with you constitutions and man made laws to destroy morality and character. And these laws make permissable all the muharamaat (impermisaable things) adultry, homosexuality, interest (usury) that ruin the economies of entire nations. And from the things you permit are from the dead animals that are not killed correctly, the flesh of swine. And the eating of this pig has caused you to loose jelousy of your women folk. So that a man has no protectivness over his wife, nor his sister, nor over his own daughter. And she can have relations and friends with men and this has caused much destruction in the society. And it has been forbidden by every divine revealed message to any prophet. ”
◾You are what you eat.
So much so that Umar ibn al-Khataab adviced the people not to eat to much meat because a person will start to take on the characteristics of an animal.